What's up with Canada post?

[airship]

Lance, maybe it's because the UK and Australia are both places that the Royal Post could find on a map, whereas NSW and Tasmania???

[Blacklord]

Lance, maybe it's because the UK and Australia are both places that the Royal Post could find on a map, whereas NSW and Tasmania???

Well I hope Royal Mail isn't doing the delivery between NSW & TAS Might be the Canadian mob which could explain the oft-times slow delivery  :rolleyes:

Lance

[BillBuckels]

BTW, I have nothing against Canada. I have many close personal friends in their southernmost provinces Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Maine.

Then there might be some truth to the rumour (that I am starting) that Corncob Bob is really an Iowa expat and an old school chum of yours who moved North to work as an editor of Computing Now! Magazine before taking up alchemy and converting himself into a renewable resource.

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20050929/corncobbob_parliamenthill_20050929/20050929/

Corncob Bob as a Schoolboy

Shown dressed in typical "Iowa Smart Casual" manner c/w "Reddenbok Head-dress" long prior to the genus-change operation and the subsequent kernal-grafts that made him into the cob that we all know and love today. His schoolmates sometimes referred to him as "Lee J.", "Husky", or "Earship" (a name that he later used in computer forums where he was know for his "corny" but eloquent humour).   Bob's involvement with computers may have extended to collabrorating with several other Kernel suthors, but certainly although Carl Sassenrath has not been contacted for comment, his involvement did not extend to the Amiga and was confined to computers with fruit and vegetable-like names.

Laura "Pickles" Bush and Canada Post

This might also explain a conspiracy theory (that I am also starting) as to why your own leader might actually have a vested interest in slowing-down Canada Post in order to discourage the mailing of cross-border love letters... despite that this is patently unfair to the State of Alberta which is where Stephen Harper, Canada's Leader is from.

The Corn Cob Bob Scandal

OTTAWA, CA (IWR Parody News) - An unnamed member of Laura Bush's staff has confirmed to IWR that the First Lady has been secretly seeing Corn Cob Bob ever since she met him on Canada Day.  According to the source, the President is fuming because of Corn Cob Bob's affiliation with renewable fuels.

http://internetweekly.org/2005/07/cartoon_pickles_corn_cob_bob.html 

Note: "Canada Day" is sometimes referred to by NSW yobbos as "Canad-Ear Day" especially after a bottle or two of "Bundy'".

[BillBuckels]

Lance, maybe it's because the UK and Australia are both places that the Royal Post could find on a map, whereas NSW and Tasmania???

Canada Post US Delivery Map

Where in Texas is Iowa actually, Mark? Or is it in Norway? My wife is Icelandic (75% anyway). One of our local papers in this part of Manitoba is called Lögberg-Heimskringla. We often in the past did get the President or Prime Minister of Iceland in town up here and I could ask one of them where in Norway Iowa is, because I think Norway must be pretty close by where they are situated, but in view of recent events I am not clear if a visit is planned anytime soon.

Welcome to Lögberg-Heimskringla

Marking yet another global first, Iceland has elected a giant squid to the office of President. Running on a "healthy seas" platform, President-elect Art K. Teuthisson is proud to be the first cephalopod elected to high office in any country in the world.

"It's an enormous responsibility," the fearsome sea creature said, his tentacles flailing wildly. "But the Icelandic people know I have ten arms to hold them."

http://www.logberg.com/

[airship]

While the Cheeseheads in Wisconsin won't be caught dead without their cheese hats, we in Iowa know better than to wear our national product as a wardrobe item. Heads here are universally adorned with freebie feed and seed caps. John Deere caps are also acceptable headgear. No one here would be caught dead in that corny hat.

As to our location on the map, only the northern part of Iowa is officially a part of Norway. The rest we prefer to keep secret from the rest of the world. We're afraid that once the foreigners (like Canadians and Texans) find out how good life is here, we'd be inundated with illegal immigrants.

[BillBuckels]

While the Cheeseheads in Wisconsin won't be caught dead without their cheese hats, we in Iowa know better than to wear our national product as a wardrobe item. Heads here are universally adorned with freebie feed and seed caps. John Deere caps are also acceptable headgear. No one here would be caught dead in that corny hat.

The Iowa branch of the family is mostly into accounting or serigraph's or other generally hatless professions so not quite sure what the custom is. I once heard something about giant popcorn balls also being worn as headgear in your part of the world.

As to our location on the map, only the northern part of Iowa is officially a part of Norway. The rest we prefer to keep secret from the rest of the world. We're afraid that once the foreigners (like Canadians and Texans) find out how good life is here, we'd be inundated with illegal immigrants.

We don't get paid not to grow popcorn up here and not much in the way of anything illegal but smiles either:

John Prine - Illegal Smile

But  back in the 60's when it was a little draftier down your way we did get a cornhead or two a'wanderin' in singin' Country Joe MacDonald's Fixin' to Die Rag with Fish Cheer and all. (No kids that has nothing to do with Big Macs) so like ourselves a fish-head then became (Nothing to do with Filet of Fish Either).

I did a Fixin' parody actually a year or several back in a fit of Socio-Political frenzy and Joe put it it up on his site with All the Fixin's...

I-Feel-Like-I'm-Fixin'-My Rag

Maybe I'll do one about Canada Post if I ever get Politically Motivated again...

The Fixin' to Canada Post Drag 

"Come-on all you Slow Postmen
Your Uncle Jaques wants to strike again
He's got himself in a terrible Jam
Opening the mail from Uncle Sam
So pull off your bags and pick up your signs
We'll stop the mail for good this time."

"And it's one, two, three,
What're we workin' for,
We already got dual-cores,
who cares about used C64's,
and it's four five six,
open up that C128, and
even if you never check for bombs,
it's still gonna take 6 weeks long."


So now you see why I write code and not songs...  or maybe I shouldn't do either and just go fishing.

[airship]

Your knowledge of Iowa is woefully inadequate, which is just the way we like it.

No way any Iowan would waste perfectly good food (like, for instance, a popcorn ball) by wearing it. We likes to eat.

Not only do we get paid to not grow popcorn, we get paid to not grow all kinds of things. They don't pay us to not grow Mary Jane, but farmers down here don't do that much anymore, anyway. It's much more profitable to set up a meth lab in the barn. Sometimes on the news we hear about one that has blown up real good.

[BillBuckels]

They don't pay us to not grow Mary Jane, but farmers down here don't do that much anymore, anyway. It's much more profitable to set up a meth lab in the barn. Sometimes on the news we hear about one that has blown up real good.

Interestingly, the DOA (used to be DEA before they lost the War on Drugs) whose jurisdiction doesn't necessarily stop at the 49th paralell probably should have considered crimes of compassion before they dug and they burned and they burned and they dug. Despite my government's attempts about a decade ago to provide good quality hydro from underground bunkers in abandoned mine shafts right here in Friendly Manitoba our Ledain Commission ground to a screaming halt almost 40 years ago now leaving us with a less than satisfactory socio-economic framework for our own entreprenurial prairie farmers and other parties interested in crop diversification for a recreational or other market.

The farmers here too have adopted a more scientific and less organic approach in their own business plans.

Sadly, failing to learn from the days of Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters (and a lesson that many of us including long distance truck drivers should have been able to pass-on to posterity without the ubiquituous "Six Days On The Road" romanticisation) a resurgence of stimulants in the current generation has led to the same phenomenae here as well as there.

In my own time as a volunteer in various alley-patrols and other noble pursuits that attempted to keep our children safe from needle-sticks in the schoolyards of our urban centres in the name of a newer concept called "Harm Reduction" I too have witnessed this shift occurring in epidemic proportions in all sectors and not just in farming.

The issues are confusing to say the least whether there or here or by Bondi Pier and elsewhere around this planet.

Perhaps the "War on Terror" is not the only reason that Canada Post has become so slow, and perhaps other wars are being silently fought in the trenches of our fair Post Offices and it is not "working to rule" and all those time-honoured labour traditions that have created the obvious backlog. 

There are also obviously personal choices that need to be made on a community basis whether the official crop is corn and the unofficial crop hails back to the days of "Thunder Road" or a more contemporary underground economy that is reminiscent of the days of "Blow" and "Boston George".

Also in my own time as an activist in some areas, I have spent my fair share of time with folk heroes like Dean Wilson (a former IBM Salesman) sharing a plane on the way to Ottawa Canada's Capital in his bid to extend our own legislation to include other lucrative crops other than popcorn. Like most I have seen the folly of applying a "one size fits all" philosophy to crop selection and rotation.

Your observation is interesting and despite some obvious cultural differences between our two countries the choices are remarkably similar.

Recently a couple of idiots who are also both almost Senior Citizens in a small town close by the small town that I live in decided that since it was all contraband anyway, forgave themselves for lack of morals, and mixed-in illegal firearms with a Maryjane cash-crop and will probably die in jail.

How can we expect the children, many who are less well equipped to handle these choices by virtue of their own miserable parentage, lack of values, and peer pressure from losers to make good choices when so many poor examples exist in our own generation?

The values that I myself learned as a teenager and young adult were that the 3 parts of the whole person, the spirit, intellect, and "flesh" must be balanced. Each provides its own joy as well as sorrow and such is life. I suppose it is hard to transcend the reality of survival without making greedy choices when the opportunity of natural selection and those Darwinian principles provide such assuage and justification for cash crops other than corn.

However, the Joys of Playing with Computers, the "Hu-Manly Art of Programming", other literary pursuits and Fishing and other cool choices in life are perhaps all an individual can hope to inspire oneself and others with at the end of the day. Taking the Theologian's semantic view that Fate (like Faith) is immutable and cannot (or perhaps should not) be altered or tampered with by intellect or will is a complex lesson that is even hard for the smartest people that I know to understand (including myself:). The quiet place that belongs to all of us is very satisfying and doesn't need any enhancement, and one can disappear for years or a lifetime without missing a day with one's trusty compiler, favorite books, guitar and causes by one's side.

Having said all this, I appreciate your re-Mark. I almost understand why Norway does not show on the Map of Texas. Nor does Iceland show on the maps of Manitoba or North Dakota.

So it is perhaps also understandable that my knowledge of Iowa is limited and should remain that way, but surely Canada Post should also be capable of locating these exotic and far-off places more effectively despite the inpenetrable nature of the Corn Belt.   

 

[hydrophilic]

Theory: Airship makes the maps for Canada Post.

[Andrew Wiskow]

Wow...  The problem with Canada Post is apparently so bad that there's even a website...  http://www.postalproblem.ca/

-Andrew

[Golan Klinger]

I think of Canada Post more like a lottery. Sometimes you win but usually you lose.

[Andrew Wiskow]

I think of Canada Post more like a lottery. Sometimes you win but usually you lose.

Ahhh.... So it's kind of like putting coins into the Coke machines on U.S. Navy ships...    =D

-Andrew

[airship]

Andrew, make that like putting coins (or bills) into Coke (or Pepsi) machines anywhere. Our machines at work have about a 75% payout rate. The candy machines, too, though they're most often guilty of snagging the item you buy so you don't get anything but the next guy gets two... and I never seem to have enough change when my stuff gets snagged so that I can buy the next one.

[Andrew Wiskow]

Andrew, make that like putting coins (or bills) into Coke (or Pepsi) machines anywhere. Our machines at work have about a 75% payout rate. The candy machines, too, though they're most often guilty of snagging the item you buy so you don't get anything but the next guy gets two... and I never seem to have enough change when my stuff gets snagged so that I can buy the next one.

Airship...  I know exactly what you mean...  But at least when you put money into a Coke machine and push the button for a can of Sprite, assuming the maching works, what drops out is usually a can of Sprite, right?  Not so on navy ships...  The navy Storekeepers that stock the machines don't give a damn, so trying to get what you want really is like playing the lottery. 

-Andrew

[BillBuckels]

Andrew, make that like putting coins (or bills) into Coke (or Pepsi) machines anywhere. Our machines at work have about a 75% payout rate. The candy machines, too, though they're most often guilty of snagging the item you buy so you don't get anything but the next guy gets two... and I never seem to have enough change when my stuff gets snagged so that I can buy the next one.

Aha! I haven't had a coke or pepsi or a dr. pepper or even a gatorade for 6 weeks ever since my doc measured my fasting glucose and it had shot-up to triple what high normal is... so I would say that someone is probably watching-out for you by taking your money for nothing.

JUJYFRUITS

I managed to sneak some jujyfruits (actually several boxes) that we have imported special from south of the border (the Canadian Border not Chuck Norris's) but that is just recently.

That first week or 4 I got a little concerned and cut-out all carbs except for the brown rice that I ate with my baked fish...

Don't talk about coke... I want one. I gave-up cigarettes at about the same time and don't want one of those... but cola...

It is so hard to be healthy around this forum.

[Andrew Wiskow]

Don't talk about coke... I want one. I gave-up cigarettes at about the same time and don't want one of those... but cola...

It is so hard to be healthy around this forum.

I need a cigarette...   

[airship]

I confess to being a die-hard Coke addict. I can leave Pepsi alone, but Coke is the nectar of the gods. I have to watch it, though, because I'm a diabetic. Once a day only. It's a good thing, or I'd be swigging the stuff 24/7. Because I wouldn't be able to sleep from all the caffeine.

[BillBuckels]

I confess to being a die-hard Coke addict. I can leave Pepsi alone, but Coke is the nectar of the gods. I have to watch it, though, because I'm a diabetic. Once a day only. It's a good thing, or I'd be swigging the stuff 24/7. Because I wouldn't be able to sleep from all the caffeine.

I on the other hand am in de Nile about being a diabetic and have decided to pretend I am not by drastically losing weight and removing carbs from my diet wherever possible. But some days I would throw it all away for a coke... to wash down the cigarette that I don't have and cut the tar from the throat... but since I don't smoke anymore having quit for probably the 20th time in 40 years I don't miss it.

[Andrew Wiskow]

I think of Canada Post more like a lottery. Sometimes you win but usually you lose.

I know that Canada Post has seen a bigger backlog on deliveries than usual due to the weakening U.S. dollar and more Canadians purchasing products through mail-order from the U.S.  ...  But this is more recent...  So I was wondering, were things better before, or has Canada Post always had a "bad rep"?

-Andrew

[Golan Klinger]

It use to be quite good. It seems to have gone to pot in the last few years and I haven't a clue as to why.